Translating Academia Into Plain Text Part 1

Graduate School Applications

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Academia is at least somewhat well known for having so-called "hidden curriculum" - especially as it relates to graduate school and beyond. Some of these things no one tells you, and some of these things academics do tell you - just in the most obtuse non-direct way they possibly can. This series is focused on taking those oblique statements and translating them into their plaintext meaning and intentions. If you have additional statements that you think should be in here, or something specific you want me to attempt to translate, send me a message and I'll do my best!

This time around we're focusing on information provided to potential graduate students during the graduate school application process. There's actually a couple of these that I used as red and yellow flags while trying to choose an advisor, because their presence implied that the advisor didn't acknowledge the ways those statements add additional barriers for individuals who don't come from academic backgrounds (aka, folks who don't have family in academia or are first in their family to obtain higher education). That isn't to say they aren't aware, so much as the presence of these statements does still imply information about their experience. With that said, on to the list!

I don't have control over program admissions

Translation: I cannot make final calls about who is accepted or denied based on university requirements, but for potential students that meet a certain threshold, my interest in their application can determine potential funding and the difference between being waitlisted or accepted to the program.

Expanded context: This statement is primarily to deter potential students from e-mailing their application packet to a faculty member. They understand that the application process is opaque, nebulous, and nerve-wracking for students who have built their whole life around graduate school. At the same time, getting blanket e-mails with their application materials or interest in their lab is overwhelming, and they cannot conceivably respond to all of them.

Faculty only have input on one small section of the admissions process, and how small this section is varies by program and university. Applicants who pass a first threshold of criteria set by the university will be forwarded to faculty in the program, so they can determine which of those students they would be most intersted in advising or funding.

Some universities and programs have blanket rules that they will only accept students that they can fund, especially for PhD students. This means that based on teaching and research assistantship funding, the faculty will pick their top candidates to fill those slots, and send out first round offers. If those are rejected, then they'll continue with second or third round. If a student has multiple faculty members that are interested, then they're also more likely to be accepted or for the program to try and find funding to be able to accept them.

That said, this varies wildly by program and university, and faculty are only one piece of the process for admissions. If you are rejected earlier in the process, then your application wont make it in front of them.

Do not e-mail me about joining my lab

Variants include things like "I will ignore e-mail inquiries about graduate positions with my lab."

Translation: If I am your top pick advisor and you are actually applying to our program, please e-mail me to ask specific questions about my published research and ongoing research efforts. If I respond to your questions, and my answers and work is still of high interest as your graduate research, then by all means keep talking with me about the research specifics or thank me for the information. Your response can also add a very short (i.e. one sentence) side note that you have either submit or are submitting an application to the university, and would love to get more involved should the university (not me, the professor, who cannot control admissions) admit you to the program.

Expanded context: Professors get inundated with e-mails from potential students, both graduate and undergraduate, every year. On top of the horrific amounts of other spam they get associated with fake publication venues, e-mail list servs, and everyone under the sun trying to sell them things, because their university e-mail is publically posted. These statements are not intended to be rude or dismissive, so much as they are a function of survival and trying to stem the flow. Sometimes potential applicants will literally e-mail them their entire application packet, CV and all, which is wildly unhelpful for multiple reasons. Faculty that are more cognizant of the unequal ways this impacts potential students with different background resources will instead offer more involved criteria to limit these e-mails while providing additional context.

Faculty are by and large ecstatic to talk to you about their research, whether ongoing work or existing publications. That said, if you e-mail them going "please tell me about your work! :)" what you have effectively told them is "I did not bother investigating your work before contacting you, and therefore do not respect your time" at which point you would be lucky if they even replied with a link to their website or google scholar page. Instead I recommend actually looking at their websites and google scholar pages, and trying to read their most recent publications that are of interest to you. (If there aren't any recent publications that seem interesting, then that in itself is a sign that maybe you shouldn't bother trying to contact them.)

I can all but guarantee you will come away from reading the paper with questions. These questions might be related to the methods (e.g. "how did you control for x variable" or "how did you derive z process from y information" or "what was the specific setup structure associated with x process"). These questions might be related to applicability (e.g. "

When picking candidates and sending out offers, one aspect faculty are thinking about is the likelihood of someone accepting their offer, so e-mailing them and talking about their research is how you can show them that they are a top contender for you, and you're likely to pick them and their program if you're admitted. So don't send e-mails just because you hope at least one of them will accept you. It's a bad use of your time and their time.

Translation:

Expanded context: